Actually I just want to address your example, because you're reading it wrong.
Pete isn't saying, "I kind of want to see it." He's saying, "I want to see it" it's just that he has a habit of adding 'kind of' at the end of his sentences. Yes, it's totally redundant in the conversation, but that's what he does and therefore that what the characterisation (of Pete) does, as well. The way he speaks - and definitely the way Joe speaks - is very stilted and not at all fluid.
I guess everyone has preferences about what they read - but weren't you the person who called after me in the Clan store that you liked my Patrick/Joe? And you've stuck with it this long... I'm sorry that you find it jarring, but I do prefer to write the boys as they speak in real life, rather than dumbing it down too much. I already filter out a lot of the jibberish they speak to make it more coherent, and if I did any more it simply wouldn't be them.
But again, thanks for your input. It's interesting to see other points of view, and I hope that the rest of the fic is at least passable.
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-07-11 03:07 am (UTC)Pete isn't saying, "I kind of want to see it." He's saying, "I want to see it" it's just that he has a habit of adding 'kind of' at the end of his sentences. Yes, it's totally redundant in the conversation, but that's what he does and therefore that what the characterisation (of Pete) does, as well. The way he speaks - and definitely the way Joe speaks - is very stilted and not at all fluid.
I guess everyone has preferences about what they read - but weren't you the person who called after me in the Clan store that you liked my Patrick/Joe? And you've stuck with it this long... I'm sorry that you find it jarring, but I do prefer to write the boys as they speak in real life, rather than dumbing it down too much. I already filter out a lot of the jibberish they speak to make it more coherent, and if I did any more it simply wouldn't be them.
But again, thanks for your input. It's interesting to see other points of view, and I hope that the rest of the fic is at least passable.