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damagereportSequel to the silly Valentine's drabble:
Title: It Started With a Kiss
Pairing: McShep, implied Stackham (minor).
Rating: PGish
Notes: Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elethe for beta, and kalimyre for instigating it!
Rodney was not at all pleased to be woken by the sound of raised voices outside his door, disturbing his lie in. It was his ritual. Like Christmas. Sleep through the whole damn thing and pretend it wasn't happening. He'd even persuaded Carson to give him some sleeping pills so he got a good, long slumber out of it.
He buried his face in his pillow and folded it up over his ears; it didn't really work, and he was all set to get out of bed and yell right back at them, when he caught a strange and familiar scent. He sat up abruptly. Then leapt out of bed with a horrified shriek.
What kind of sadistic bastard put flowers in the bed of a man with allergies?
Furiously, he dragged on some clothes and stormed out of his room, heading first to the infirmary to get some antihistamines. As his door swooshed open, he was greeted with the sight of a guilty and dishevelled-looking Sgt Stackhouse and a very, very smug-looking Sgt Markham, being yelled at by Bates.
But he had more pressing issues than cutting down inconsiderate jarheads, right now.
"Carson! Carson – you need to help me, I think I've been poisoned!" he declared, walking straight into the infirmary and helping himself to a gurney. "I can already feel my nasal passages burning. And my skin – look! You can practically see the dermatitis forming!"
Beckett rolled his eyes at Sheppard, who was leaning against the door frame to his office.
"What's the matter Rodney? Someone leave you orange chocolates? Bucksfizz, perhaps?"
"Flowers! Someone came in in the night and covered me in flowers! You could actually see a haze of pollen in the room." He gazed at the doctor with horrified eyes, for a moment. "Someone is trying to kill me! Major – you'll need to assign me some protection. I'll need marines. Two, at least. And Teyla. Definitely Teyla."
"Rodney," Carson began, patiently, "It's Valentine's Day. Someone was probably trying to make a nice romantic gesture. You should be flattered, if y'ask me."
"I wasn't asking you. And will you just stop blathering and give me something! My lips are swelling. I'll suffocate."
Beckett gave a put-upon sigh and muttered something about going to the back room to get some antihistamines.
"It wasn't flowers, it was petals," Sheppard drawled folding his arms and rolling his eyes, as soon as Carson was out of earshot.
"They were flowers! There was – there was pollen! And my lips are all... wait. How would you know?"
"Well, I dunno; maybe the pixies told me."
Rodney gaped at him. "It was you!" he breathed in disbelief. But the surprise rapidly wore off, and he demanded, "What were you thinking?! You could have killed me! That was a very cruel and juvenile thing to do, Major! In fact, I think I may pass out. If I stop breathing while Carson's not here you're going to have to do CPR. You do know CPR, right?"
"Well," John said, smirking at him and moving over to the bed, "Maybe I could just..." he leaned down and pressed his lips to Rodney's, before pulling away and giving him that, 'I'm so charming you can't help but love me... right? RIGHT?' look, and finishing, "Kiss it better?"
Rodney blinked at him, and thought for a minute. And the hopped off the gurney. "Follow me, Major."
Sheppard blinked back at him, "Rodney? I thought you were dying..."
"Yes, yes," Rodney told him, waving his hand dismissively. "All the more reason we should hurry. I need to show you where it really hurts..."
Title: It Started With a Kiss
Pairing: McShep, implied Stackham (minor).
Rating: PGish
Notes: Thanks to
elethe for beta, and kalimyre for instigating it!Rodney was not at all pleased to be woken by the sound of raised voices outside his door, disturbing his lie in. It was his ritual. Like Christmas. Sleep through the whole damn thing and pretend it wasn't happening. He'd even persuaded Carson to give him some sleeping pills so he got a good, long slumber out of it.
He buried his face in his pillow and folded it up over his ears; it didn't really work, and he was all set to get out of bed and yell right back at them, when he caught a strange and familiar scent. He sat up abruptly. Then leapt out of bed with a horrified shriek.
What kind of sadistic bastard put flowers in the bed of a man with allergies?
Furiously, he dragged on some clothes and stormed out of his room, heading first to the infirmary to get some antihistamines. As his door swooshed open, he was greeted with the sight of a guilty and dishevelled-looking Sgt Stackhouse and a very, very smug-looking Sgt Markham, being yelled at by Bates.
But he had more pressing issues than cutting down inconsiderate jarheads, right now.
"Carson! Carson – you need to help me, I think I've been poisoned!" he declared, walking straight into the infirmary and helping himself to a gurney. "I can already feel my nasal passages burning. And my skin – look! You can practically see the dermatitis forming!"
Beckett rolled his eyes at Sheppard, who was leaning against the door frame to his office.
"What's the matter Rodney? Someone leave you orange chocolates? Bucksfizz, perhaps?"
"Flowers! Someone came in in the night and covered me in flowers! You could actually see a haze of pollen in the room." He gazed at the doctor with horrified eyes, for a moment. "Someone is trying to kill me! Major – you'll need to assign me some protection. I'll need marines. Two, at least. And Teyla. Definitely Teyla."
"Rodney," Carson began, patiently, "It's Valentine's Day. Someone was probably trying to make a nice romantic gesture. You should be flattered, if y'ask me."
"I wasn't asking you. And will you just stop blathering and give me something! My lips are swelling. I'll suffocate."
Beckett gave a put-upon sigh and muttered something about going to the back room to get some antihistamines.
"It wasn't flowers, it was petals," Sheppard drawled folding his arms and rolling his eyes, as soon as Carson was out of earshot.
"They were flowers! There was – there was pollen! And my lips are all... wait. How would you know?"
"Well, I dunno; maybe the pixies told me."
Rodney gaped at him. "It was you!" he breathed in disbelief. But the surprise rapidly wore off, and he demanded, "What were you thinking?! You could have killed me! That was a very cruel and juvenile thing to do, Major! In fact, I think I may pass out. If I stop breathing while Carson's not here you're going to have to do CPR. You do know CPR, right?"
"Well," John said, smirking at him and moving over to the bed, "Maybe I could just..." he leaned down and pressed his lips to Rodney's, before pulling away and giving him that, 'I'm so charming you can't help but love me... right? RIGHT?' look, and finishing, "Kiss it better?"
Rodney blinked at him, and thought for a minute. And the hopped off the gurney. "Follow me, Major."
Sheppard blinked back at him, "Rodney? I thought you were dying..."
"Yes, yes," Rodney told him, waving his hand dismissively. "All the more reason we should hurry. I need to show you where it really hurts..."
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